案例分析

下面我们通过两个案例来谈谈在文书写作中如何运用承上启下和首尾呼应。

文书案例一

B同学高中毕业申请去美国读本科，他提供的中文原稿这样开头：“刻苦耐劳，这是我祖辈和父辈的传统，我受他们的熏陶和培养，在学习和运动上毫不马虎，成绩名列前茅。我有强烈的同情心和责任感，我是我们年级中唯一一个代表我们学校参加省级机器人比赛的选手。”看完这段话后，读者会一头雾水，不知道这篇文章要讲什么。申请者绞尽脑汁想在文书中展现自己的优点，想到什么就写什么，导致句子之间没有很好的过渡和衔接，尤其是最后两句“有强烈的同情心和责任感” 和“参加省级机器人比赛”之间没有任何逻辑关系。

这段文字传达的信息和申请者的愿望是背道而驰的，不但没有展现他的优点，反而暴露出他思维跳跃、逻辑混乱、文笔一般的缺点。我们对B同学的英文文书做了针对性的修改。以下是修改后的英文范文。

I was fortunate to have grown up in a nurturing environment, where my parents encouraged me to follow my own academic and non-academic preferences. They wanted me to learn and to explore because I was interested, not because it was prescribed by someone else. My mother often tells me that when I was little my frequent words were “let me do it.” I would spend long hours doing projects using my scissors and all types of other tools. I would offer to ignite (点燃) the gas stove when my parents cooked. It was later that I had to ignite and put out a fire of another kind.

评析：文章开头交代了“我”成长的环境和“我”父母的教育理念，建立起“我”喜欢自己动手的形象。本段最后一句应该会引起了读者的强烈兴趣：作者又点燃和扑灭了什么火?这句话为下文做了很好的铺垫。

My passion for robots dates back to the summer vacation right after I graduated from elementary school. Mom supported me and allowed me to take classes on robot-making. In the beginning, I just needed to learn some basic steps involved in installing several components, by referring to the process chart, so that the robot could move forward and backward. The real challenge came later when I was assigned to conduct a robot simulation (模拟) in which the robot was to put out fire, a candle fire to be exact. The robot had to find the fire source in an enclosed space and use a fan, water or carbon dioxide to put it out. It took me a long time to fit into the limited space of the robot fire-extinguishing parts. External factors such as the low room temperature at the test time were not favorable for firefighting. But I kept on trying until the robot succeeded in identifying and putting out the fire. The first time I participated in a regional robot-fire-extinguishing contest, I only received an honorary mention, because my robot hit the wall several times due to its lack of slip-resistance on the overly smooth contest ground.

评析：这段主要是记述“我”参加地区机器人灭火竞赛的经历，也就是第一段里提到的“ignite and put out a fire of another kind”。

Very soon, I was in high school. My robot teacher called one day to tell me that I could skip the regional qualifying contest and directly enter the national-level competition that year. Although I had not played with robots for about one year, I decided to seize this good opportunity to showcase my abilities. In order to avoid the mistakes I had made previously, I changed my sensor (传感器) for a more sensitive one and modified the platform (操作平台) for fire-extinguishing to a faster speed. After updating all the hardware that I could think of, I learned that in national contests, all participating robots were required to follow specified programming codes. The former process-chart mode could not be applied any longer. This rule change came only less than one month before the contest. I forced myself to memorize the frequently-used codes and formats within a very short time period. Together with my partner, we successfully programmed our robot, named Huo Huo (meaning “Fire, Fire”) and got it working. Huo Huo performed well and helped us win our Number 2 ranking in the national contest. As a result, I also became qualified to enter (使报名参加竞赛) Huo Huo for the 2010 international contest held in Columbus, Ohio.

评析：这段主要叙述“我”参加全国机器人灭火竞赛的经历。最后一句再次起到承上启下的作用，明确告诉读者“我”还参加了国际竞赛。

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