文书案例二

申请者D在国内学的是城市规划专业，希望去美国进一步深造，申请该专业的硕博连读。以下是他的个人陈述范文。

An ancient Chinese verse goes: “From the side, a whole range; from the end, a single peak;/ Far, near, high, low—no parts alike./Why can’t I tell the true shape of Lushan?/Because I myself am in the mountain.” (Lushan is the name of a scenic mountain in China, which has lent inspiration generation after generation to artists and poets.) So simple and yet so profound, the poem captures the real motivation behind my application for the graduate program in Urban Planning: to escape the tunnel vision from within Lushan and to gain some fresh and new perspectives on a whole range of issues that interest me as an aspiring urban planner—issues such as what other countries’ perspectives are on China’s rapid urbanization and environmental deterioration, what lessons western nations have learned in their own developmental processes, to what extent western philosophies and approaches are applicable to China, to what extent the Chinese should preserve their own cultural, historical, socio-economic, and geopolitical sensitivities, and how nations can develop in ways that make sense both environmentally and humanistically. I know I have my own bias and my own opinions, but I am acutely aware that a true intellectual, no matter what the subject matter, is one who, instead of rejecting differing points of view, readily embraces them as valid and enriching.

评析：开篇引入唐诗《题西林壁》起到两个作用：

1、提示读者“我”想表达的主题和全文内容都会围绕“庐山”展开

2、我想出国深造的动机是走出“庐山”，突破隧道视觉、井蛙之见，获得全新的有关城市规划的知识、理论、见解和实践经验。这段开头具有浓郁的中国风，在普遍公式化的留学文书中非常抢眼。

A recent American sports commentary is a case in point (例证). It spoke highly of the athletic skills of the Chinese basketball team playing at the Olympics. In fact it went so far as to put the Chinese on an equal par with the American NBA players. However, said the commentary, the reason why the Chinese could not put up a decent fight with the Europeans or North American teams was not due to the lack of assiduous (刻苦的) training, but was due to the fact that they had too much of it. Rigid and monotonous training seven days a week and eight hours a day had taken its toll (造成损失). The team was physically and mentally punished to the point of a collective breakdown. It took someone outside of “Lushan” to see what had caused the lack-luster performance—the Chinese team had simply not rested enough to play!

评析：这一段通过美国体育专栏对中国篮球队的看法说明要看清“庐山真面目”完全有必要听取、吸收和借鉴局外人的看法和经验。

Speaking of assiduous training, I have had my share. While at the Department of City and Resources of Zhongshan University in Guangzhou, a top university in South China, I read history and anthropology (人类学), crisscrossed (往返奔波于) China including the westernmost interior during my numerous field trips, improved my skills in drawing and planning, and under the guidance of my professor, completed a design project for the city of Qingyuan of Guangzhou Province. I also read architectural and urban planning journals and research papers from English-speaking countries to keep myself abreast with up-to-date information.

In July of 2005, shortly after I graduated from college, I was offered an assistant planner’s position in the neighboring city of Shengzhen with an environmental protection company. Shenzhen, being the most progressive and the fastest growing metropolis in China, has been experiencing tremendous challenges on the city planning front. In the short time I have been with the company, I have already had hands-on (亲身实践的) opportunities to work with internal and external customers in the designing and development phases of one of the city’s upscale residential districts. My specific contribution has been to address sewage treatment, underground installation and hazardous material disposal. Even as my confidence level is on the rise, I am conscious of the fact that further training and professional qualifications are called for if I ever want to speak on important planning issues like an authority.

评析：第三段首句中speaking of是典型的过渡语。既承接上文提到的中国篮球队的刻苦训练，又开启下文，叙述“我”在城市规划方面所受到的训练，即课堂上的学习和毕业后的工作经验，从而说明“我”有一定的基础和实力攻读此这一专业，同时“我”也意识到自己的本领和资历有限，需要进一步深造。

想了解更详细的申请材料和网申教程
立刻下载《英国留学申请宝典》

51offer免费留学申请智能平台
英国驻沪总领事都推荐哦！